Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Consequences

There are times when consequences are necessary for our children. Unpleasant, I know, but necessary. [Big Sigh]

John and I have discovered that creativity is the key. Also, the importance of matching the consequence to the poor choices they make.

One of the frequently used consequences is hard work. When chores are not done because poor choices are made, the offender will be issued a very unpleasant, additional chore. If you drive by our house and see a kid filling a wheelbarrow with pinecones, you'll know why. If the offense is absolute rebellion you may find that the inside and outside of our trashcans have been scrubbed squeaky clean.

Some of our creative consequences have been:

Losing the privilege of sitting on furniture because he/she was jumping on or abusing it.

"Practicing" walking up and down the stairs, since he/she obviously "forgot" that you shouldn't stomp up them.

"X" number of laps around the house because he/she repeatedly acts out in anger.

You get the idea.
We try to stay positive. I'm not always successful, but I try. Usually, the consequence is beneficial in and of itself. They learn something or accomplish something.

Most parenting books you read will always talk about being consistent. I agree....sometimes.
Sometimes children need grace.
This is the part where we, the parents, have to make good choices. We need to be prayerful and know when to administer consequences and when to extend grace.

There are times when swift consequences speak the loudest to my children but there are other times when knowing they goofed up and receiving undeserved favor speaks even louder.

I'm certain of this because I've experienced it myself.
God's grace to me ....that's what I'm thankful for today!!

2 comments:

Cathy said...

My husband and I enjoyed your post. Those are some great ideas for how to properly handle bad behavior.

Tracey said...

Funny, we use some of the same consequences..one of my favorites these days is the "if you are going to argue, then my house shall be clean" We have gotten into a 'habit' of impatience, so I decided (actually, I firmly believe it was God's wisdom) that whenever a petty fight broke out, I would stop what I was doing and assign chores to the offenders. I may have to listen to the bickering, but my carpets are vacuumed! Love you!